[but he doesn't seem - flustered? rather, he seems like he's thinking rather seriously about it. despite his previous statement that he shouldn't be thinking about it... it seems like he's willing to listen to her sentiments.]
... but if I can't give all of myself to someone, I don't think that's love. Even if I have crushes, or I fall for people - I don't think that's the same thing as love or being in love.
I think if it's really love...
[he glances up to the ceiling in thought]
... it can wait. Just until we all get our wishes. Because isn't part of love wanting someone to succeed?
[ She knows it's probably too personal a question when they've only had any deep conversations in the past two days, but she wouldn't be her if she just didn't ask it. ]
What's holding you back? Even without the setup of this place, what's keeping you from - love?
[ When it seems pretty apparent that he wants to. ]
[he just laughs a little bit at that - surprised by the directness of the question but.]
... you're straightforward. It's pretty nice. Thanks for asking.
[he'll just say it.]
... I think I care too much - about too many concepts, too many people, too many things. My head's a mess, and I don't know up from down. Justice from injustice. You asked me if we broke even, and I still don't know. I voted, but I don't know if it was the right thing to do - I just did it because I thought 'ah, I can't risk us losing another innocent life'.
But what does 'innocent' even mean, when we're all just - here? In this system, letting people die, in theory some of us killing each other.
And I haven't found my answers yet. About good or bad, right or wrong, and maybe I'll be searching for a long time -
.... but I don't want to give anybody this half-baked version of me that's still just starting to figure stuff out.
[ She mulls over that for a second. There aren't too many things Medb is uncertain about in her life, so it's a little difficult for her to relate. What she does know is, though: ]
That's your choice, but you know, people will still care about those who haven't found themselves, who are lost or broken or whatever else.
Right and wrong are subjective, especially in a place like this. There is something that will be right or wrong for you even if it won't be the same for someone else.
But I think even if you aren't opening yourself to romance, you can open yourself to letting people help you figure the rest of that stuff out. The way this system is set up, I think it's better if you find that answer sooner or it'll drag you away from finding out anything.
[ . . . . it's her first sentiment that manages to get him to look away briefly in thought. the idea that people will still care even for those who haven't been able to come to decisive terms about their own wrestling with morality. maybe that's true. he's still not sure if that's enough for him.
though by the end, he does find himself nodding.]
... probably. I know that it feels like I'm being tested every week and - well, I've made progress but...
[ . . . some days it simply doesn't feel like enough.]
But that's my reasoning for your question. I just can't do anything halfway either. I can't tell someone I care about them in one breath but then let someone else bite me the same day. Even if other people are able to draw lines...
I don't think I can - but I've made peace with that.
... if it's just about making it up to you - I can just tell you now. But uh - don't repeat this to anyone 'cause it's kinda gross, and definitely don't bring it up to Takeru or you'll actually lose major points with him. He hates talking about me.
[but.]
.... he's my partner, though. So that means nothing and no one is gonna be more important to me than him until we're done here. If it's about giving myself to someone, even if it's not romantic, I already decided that a while back.
[if anything it's probably a giant piece of the puzzle as to why mineo doesn't feel comfortable with romance at all - his priorities are spoken for, and he's loyal enough to never disengage from them.]
I guess, but... You wanna get to know him, right? [since the reason he made her dinner at all was because he didn't talk about takeru's hobbies] So I'm giving you advice: he really hates talking about me. Instant landmine.
[takeru will instantly want to leave the conversation if mineo becomes the topic, he hates it so much]
I don't know about after - we're still going to hang out, probably but... At least here, we have an agreement. For as long as that lasts... I know he's important to me.
[ Even if the two of them don't get along in a traditional sense, if Takeru will just up and leave even though it's obvious the two of them work together...
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Yeah, he really was. I didn't and still don't forgive him for what he did, but I don't mind remembering what used to be nice.
[ She's separated enough and has gained new things to focus on, so she's over him. ]
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... I guess that's a good take on it....
But it's not alright for someone to betray your trust like that - especially if you were in love.
[i can't even say 'mineo you romantic' bc in general cheating is a faux pas??????]
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Marriage when you're royalty isn't always based on love. Sometimes, it's political.
But it sound like you'll treat whoever you choose and whoever chooses you back vey well.
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... I want to.
[ . . . ]
I don't think that's the kind of thing to think about in a place like this though.
[everyone keeps roasting mineo over his love life and he is just so 'why' about it but. life when you're a romantic....]
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Or how neat and pure they are.
[ It may not be the best idea, but can anyone control their heart?
Wasn't what was talked about in trial proof enough? However true or untrue the gay drama is. ]
It may not be wise, but is love wise?
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You're preaching to the choir, Queen Medb.
[but he doesn't seem - flustered? rather, he seems like he's thinking rather seriously about it. despite his previous statement that he shouldn't be thinking about it... it seems like he's willing to listen to her sentiments.]
... but if I can't give all of myself to someone, I don't think that's love. Even if I have crushes, or I fall for people - I don't think that's the same thing as love or being in love.
I think if it's really love...
[he glances up to the ceiling in thought]
... it can wait. Just until we all get our wishes. Because isn't part of love wanting someone to succeed?
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I don't think I'm someone who can wait like that.
[ It comes out as almost uncertain, as if she's not sure if that's something that will be true forever, but it is true now. ]
If you love, shouldn't you succeed with them?
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[he rubs the back of his neck at that, almost sheepish]
... I think I'm too lost to be able to give someone all of me, even if I want to. Or... maybe the me right now isn't good enough to really give.
[ . . . ]
But I don't think that you and I would really have the same problems.
[medb is, in fact, a queen]
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[ She knows it's probably too personal a question when they've only had any deep conversations in the past two days, but she wouldn't be her if she just didn't ask it. ]
What's holding you back? Even without the setup of this place, what's keeping you from - love?
[ When it seems pretty apparent that he wants to. ]
How are you lost?
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... you're straightforward. It's pretty nice. Thanks for asking.
[he'll just say it.]
... I think I care too much - about too many concepts, too many people, too many things. My head's a mess, and I don't know up from down. Justice from injustice. You asked me if we broke even, and I still don't know. I voted, but I don't know if it was the right thing to do - I just did it because I thought 'ah, I can't risk us losing another innocent life'.
But what does 'innocent' even mean, when we're all just - here? In this system, letting people die, in theory some of us killing each other.
And I haven't found my answers yet. About good or bad, right or wrong, and maybe I'll be searching for a long time -
.... but I don't want to give anybody this half-baked version of me that's still just starting to figure stuff out.
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That's your choice, but you know, people will still care about those who haven't found themselves, who are lost or broken or whatever else.
Right and wrong are subjective, especially in a place like this. There is something that will be right or wrong for you even if it won't be the same for someone else.
But I think even if you aren't opening yourself to romance, you can open yourself to letting people help you figure the rest of that stuff out. The way this system is set up, I think it's better if you find that answer sooner or it'll drag you away from finding out anything.
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though by the end, he does find himself nodding.]
... probably. I know that it feels like I'm being tested every week and - well, I've made progress but...
[ . . . some days it simply doesn't feel like enough.]
But that's my reasoning for your question. I just can't do anything halfway either. I can't tell someone I care about them in one breath but then let someone else bite me the same day. Even if other people are able to draw lines...
I don't think I can - but I've made peace with that.
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But before she addresses the serious quality of their conversation: ]
Who did, by the way? Who did you let mark you?
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he flusters at that and looks away]
That's -
Not appropriate to share! So I won't...!
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Mineo.
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... I really can't, Queen Medb.... It's not right.
I'm sorry.
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Wait - no, I didn't mean to—I'll make it up to you again?!
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Fine! Fine. If you have anyone you think you'd like to give all of yourself to at the end of all this, tell me, okay?
[ She wants the gossip. ]
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In what sense? Romantically?
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In any sense, but if that's what's important to you, yeah.
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... if it's just about making it up to you - I can just tell you now. But uh - don't repeat this to anyone 'cause it's kinda gross, and definitely don't bring it up to Takeru or you'll actually lose major points with him. He hates talking about me.
[but.]
.... he's my partner, though. So that means nothing and no one is gonna be more important to me than him until we're done here. If it's about giving myself to someone, even if it's not romantic, I already decided that a while back.
[if anything it's probably a giant piece of the puzzle as to why mineo doesn't feel comfortable with romance at all - his priorities are spoken for, and he's loyal enough to never disengage from them.]
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You two do seem close. He seems prickly about a lot of things, not just you, though.
[ Medb doesn't make it sound like a bad thing. She actually doesn't mind that about people in general, considering her own personality. ]
But you're going to devote yourself to him while we're here, huh? And after?
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[takeru will instantly want to leave the conversation if mineo becomes the topic, he hates it so much]
I don't know about after - we're still going to hang out, probably but... At least here, we have an agreement. For as long as that lasts... I know he's important to me.
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[ Even if the two of them don't get along in a traditional sense, if Takeru will just up and leave even though it's obvious the two of them work together...
What happened there? ]
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