[ Her smile is small, but she lifts up her hand with the greed symbol. ]
Servants can be around forever, or they can be gone in an instant. It's... something, how large that spectrum can be, for how long they can be with us.
[for both things. he wishes that there could be enough to satisfy medb, and he wishes that there was a sense of consistency of how long you can expect to have someone. he never thought of things like that - how immortality can be so conditional.]
even more, her words make him wonder about other things - about the idea of balance, of what it means to breakeven here.]
... is that what you think? I want to know what happens as much as anyone and I don't think anyone would blame you if you wanted to get revenge for Ashiya-san. [he's not about to pass judgment on that, it's not his place] But... in the end, we'd just be losing another life, right? Since there's nothing else we can do even if we find them.
[it's just more death. every week is more and more loss.]
.... but is it all we can do to make that loss into something - more meaningful than saying goodbye to an innocent?
[he doesn't sound particularly depressed about it - rather, he sounds more like he's trying to make sense of it. of this system they've been placed in, that he clearly hates so much.]
If we find the culprit, I would like to be chosen. Whatever odds those are.
[ For what this place calls an execution. She admits that easily enough. ]
But until something causes me to act otherwise, I will be more queen than anything else. People need success, but at this point, everyone cares about someone. There will be someone who cares about whoever ends up getting the vote.
[ What can help can also harm. There's nothing clean cut in this system, no clear benefits. ]
There is always something more we can do, but what is it that you find meaningful, Mineo?
[well he nods in agreement with that. you go medb, you do your thing. go execute a man (or a woman?)
but he listens to her answer thoughtfully and diligently. she has a point, and he thinks it's a good one. there's no point in trying to reduce harm in a system that ensures that someone will be hurt, whether they are dying or left behind]
.... looking after the people who are important to me, and getting my wish. I think that most of us are in the same boat. And even if we don't actively wish for blood - this system makes all our hands bloody.
I just want to know how to breakeven.
If we keep losing, how to make those losses mean something until we figure out how to gain it all back.
... I don't really expect anyone to be able to process it all in the same way. We're not gonna just be able to accept this, especially as weeks go on, and we all get to know each other.
I just don't like seeing people suffer when I feel like I can be doing something - anything - to help it.
You're hurting too right, Queen Medb? That matters to me too.
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I think that they were happy too. They seemed pretty loyal, after all. [how quickly ashiya just dumped fukuda. wow.]
... but I think it's okay if you miss them too, and wish you had more time.
[he doesn't want to pull away from her loss, and whatever else she might feel]
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[ Her smile is small, but she lifts up her hand with the greed symbol. ]
Servants can be around forever, or they can be gone in an instant. It's... something, how large that spectrum can be, for how long they can be with us.
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I wish that wasn't the case.
[for both things. he wishes that there could be enough to satisfy medb, and he wishes that there was a sense of consistency of how long you can expect to have someone. he never thought of things like that - how immortality can be so conditional.]
I'm sorry, that you had to lose instead of gain.
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[ That's said softly, and she looks off to the side. ]
I hate to admit that I'm more used to losing than I should be, but that only means we should gain something tomorrow, right?
[ She isn't one to stay down for too long, for better or for worse. She's more likely to get mad than sad. It's easier to roll that way.
She knows there's no guarantee that they will. She isn't going to set her hopes too high, but that doesn't mean she'll douse her ambition. ]
We need to balance ourselves out, at the very least.
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even more, her words make him wonder about other things - about the idea of balance, of what it means to breakeven here.]
... is that what you think? I want to know what happens as much as anyone and I don't think anyone would blame you if you wanted to get revenge for Ashiya-san. [he's not about to pass judgment on that, it's not his place] But... in the end, we'd just be losing another life, right? Since there's nothing else we can do even if we find them.
[it's just more death. every week is more and more loss.]
.... but is it all we can do to make that loss into something - more meaningful than saying goodbye to an innocent?
[he doesn't sound particularly depressed about it - rather, he sounds more like he's trying to make sense of it. of this system they've been placed in, that he clearly hates so much.]
no subject
[ For what this place calls an execution. She admits that easily enough. ]
But until something causes me to act otherwise, I will be more queen than anything else. People need success, but at this point, everyone cares about someone. There will be someone who cares about whoever ends up getting the vote.
[ What can help can also harm. There's nothing clean cut in this system, no clear benefits. ]
There is always something more we can do, but what is it that you find meaningful, Mineo?
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but he listens to her answer thoughtfully and diligently. she has a point, and he thinks it's a good one. there's no point in trying to reduce harm in a system that ensures that someone will be hurt, whether they are dying or left behind]
.... looking after the people who are important to me, and getting my wish. I think that most of us are in the same boat. And even if we don't actively wish for blood - this system makes all our hands bloody.
I just want to know how to breakeven.
If we keep losing, how to make those losses mean something until we figure out how to gain it all back.
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[ How to breakeven as a whole is a different answer. There's nothing simple about that. ]
I don't know if there is a way to make the losses mean anything other than what they are. They serve to hurt and inspire people to act.
[ It's not great.
She doesn't have the kind of heart that can spin this in a positive way. She can be motivational, but she isn't someone who can shounen speech. ]
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... I don't really expect anyone to be able to process it all in the same way. We're not gonna just be able to accept this, especially as weeks go on, and we all get to know each other.
I just don't like seeing people suffer when I feel like I can be doing something - anything - to help it.
You're hurting too right, Queen Medb? That matters to me too.
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You're helping in your own way. You may not be helping in the way you want, but people appreciate you.
[ It's said sweetly, but it is a bit more of her objective observation than her subjective thoughts. ]